there's a number of reasons behind my decision.

1. hypocrites, hypocrites everywhere

this was most evident in the recent SIBF. its okay to whine a little if you lose, but this is ridiculous. okay so you say shit about us. at least be honest with what you say. don't be a little prick in front of us and say things like "oh congrats, your group achieved what it set out to do" blah blah. bullshit i say. and then there are people with huge inflated shit we call..

2. ego

most people i observe are stuck at this stage, where they think they are invincible just because of a little achievement or a little compliment given by their teachers. and then they strut around when in actual fact they are nothing in the music scene. i always believe in respecting the people who came before you, the people who had been there and done that. no matter how lousy they are at their age compared to their international peers, they still have achieved more than you. so please, respect.

3. politics

i don't want to name the band but i think its quite obvious. it's frustrating to see people realizing your idea is effective like, years later. when they are resistant to that idea in the first place. i'm sick of negotiating, solving problems that shouldn't have been there, and all..

4. spending time and effort, but with no returns

and i do not mean monetary gains. the music is bad, the band is bad, the members have inflated egos. what do you gain? the band isn't making music. they are just playing. all i want in return is an evening of great music making, which is not happening nowadays.

5. not being taken seriously

what's up with that? i know i'm not a good player, but do not tell me things like "play like a musician, not a saxophonist". just because i'm a saxophonist means i'm not musical? saxophonists aren't musical? we are only good for jazz? really? there's so much beautiful music for the saxophone out there, staples such as Glazunov, Ibert, Claude T. Smith and the like. and you're saying that these are not serious music? i mean, come on. if you have views like these, you are not a musician. because you have not understood.



after all these years, i'm tired already. i'm really tired. people kept saying things like "if you wanted to quit, what for you take LTCL?" granted, that's a valid question. but LTCL was more like.. a challenge of sorts. i never meant to use it to further my studies in saxophone. no, my future lies elsewhere. and i've proven to myself that i can obtain it. so i'm happy.

so i plan to tie things up by the end of this year. the 35th Anniversary of SWS @ Botanic Gardens will be my last with them. then there will be two performances with YST's Conservatory Orchestra @ NUS and RP in September. and lastly a recital with jiexiang and brent @ the Arts House in December.

good year.. good year. so far. lol.